Bugger all to do with firefighting this post but made everyone smile except me…
Left work at lunchtime to toodle off down to the opticians. No sooner had I hit the mean streets of Lowestoft and a seagull, with laser guided precison, crapped on me from a long, shallow dive.
One hit to the collar of my shirt, another on the shoulder, two hits to my left leg, a shoe and a nice little dollop on my mobile.
So straight back into the office to get cleaned up before having a close encounter with the comely optician. I don't expect the aroma of bird shit up her left nostril would have been too pleasant…
And so, with nice dark damp patches on the front of my trousers, I hurried off to the opticians.